Harpoooons. Identify your target, raise the Harpoon and toss it with the precision of a snake attacking a beaver’s left sour toenail on a hot sweaty Alabama morning in September. Six mothofo’in seasons of the Harpoons. Well, five in the books, the 6th TBD. The action resumes this weekend, starting tomorrow with the Falcons taking on the Eagles and the Titans as 14 point dogs vs New England. Then on Sunday with the Saints taking on the Vikings and the Jaguars going to the Steel City to take on Pittsburgh.
Current Standings and Review
1st Place w/ 132.4 Points- Foon Dog (Sandra and Greg Santos)
This squad is looking fine and dandy with possibly the best strategic positioning. The team is led by 1st round Pick Drew Brees who has a great shot of taking out the Vikings this weekend. Follow that up with Derrick Henry who showed his coach Mike Mularkey that he truly is the best back on the team. Mularkey was running Murray into the ground and showing favoritism to Murray all year. Henry just needed the rock full-time and he will get another favorable matchup against New England. The key will be game flow. But Murray will catch all the dink and dunks from Mariota regardless. Two more excellent picks were Julio Jones and Mohammad Sanu on Atlanta who are favored to beat Philly tomorrow by 3 points. They also have Will Lutz another Saint and of course Willie “Make ya Bleeeeeed” Snead contributing a catch every 75 hours or so. The Saints are my pick to make the Super Bowl, so the Foon Dog is looking mighty good right now.
2nd Place w/ 116 points- Coin Slot (Espo)
The Defending Champ returns with another solid team this year. They have Matt Ryan, the Falcons D, Michael Thomas, Jerrick McKinnon and Alshon Jeffrey. Ideally they would want a Falcons run, but with Foon Dog carrying Julio and Sanu to offset Ryan, they likely want Minnesota to upset and ride out with Mckinnon. But that may cost them a money spot. Foon Dog also counteracts the Michael Thomas pick with their Drew Brees, Will Lutz combo. Coin Slot needs the Jags to beat Pittsburgh and have Josh Lambo kick his way into New England. At the end of the day Coin Slot is likely due for another high finish but in Pure Espo fashion will likely finish just outside of the top position. Foon Dog has him cornered in almost every direction. If you still haven’t figured out Espo’s nickname “Coin Slot” you better have it figured out after this weekend.
3rd Place, 102.2 Points- Hack (Rob D.)
Hack had a strong WildCard round with Cam Newton and Tyreek Hill, unfortunately with both of them going out early, he is pretty much done at this point. Both Carolina and KC had great shots to win, but ran out of gas at the end, and this is the fate of Hack’s team as well. He does have a very slim shot of possibly finishing in the money but will need three bottom role players for the Pats to emerge in Danny Amendola, James White and Kenny Britt, coupling that with the Saints and their Mark Ingram pick in the SuperBowl. Hack, however is likely already focused on Basketball. He’s probably watching the Rockets, Suns game right now.
4th Place, 84.5 Points (Pete)
Pete was also hurt by the KC and Panthers losses losing Alex Smith and Greg Olsen. But this team was crafted and drafted well, with some high end options remaining in Alvin Kamara, Martavis Bryant, Adam Thielen, Kyle Rudolph, Matt Bryant and the Saints D. Their path to victory is with the Vikings or the Saints. But there is Foon Dog again with them Saints, so Pete may need to root for the Vikings. If they can get Thielen and Rudolph in the Super Bowl, Pete will have a good shot to take this down.
5th Place, 70.5 Points (Dennis)
Another team that was well put together, headed by Big Ben. The Christian McCaffrey loss hurt, but at least he got a big splash on that 80 yard TD before he went out. He also has some solid options with Dion Lewis, Stefon Diggs, Tevin Coleman, Delanie Walker and the Pats D. Dennis will need a Pats, Steelers AFC Champ game to take this down, but then have to be careful if the Steelers make the SB as the person behind him will be nipping at their turnens!! Either way I see some good things for this team ahead.
6th Place, 61.8 points Tom & Rachel’s Wedding (Steve D.)
Tom and Rachel’s Wedding? Terrific name, highly original. The meaning behind it may come next week, if they are in the money after this weekend. The Two time champ is 70 points back from the lead but certainly has a pathway to victory. The Jared Goff pick proved to go bust thanks mostly thanks to Pharaoh Cooper’s turd hands, but they still have Le’Veon Bell, Steelers D and Steelers Kicker Chris Boswell. Also throw in Chris Hogan who is healthy and coming off a big Playoff run last year. Zach Ertz can also put up some points this week and Josh Hill showed he is starting to factor into the Saints offense. Dede Westbrook is another nice piece. They will obviously need the Steelers in the SB to win this and their is a good chance that may happen, but that still may not be enough for him to win. It’s all about putting up points!!!
7th Place, 49.8 Points (Frank)
Another team crushed by the Chiefs loss losing Kareem Hunt and Harrison “I take it in the” Butker. They have Brandin Cooks and some other pieces, but their is one way that this team wins it all and that is through the Jaguars. Blake Bortles, Chris Ivory and Marcedes Lewis will need to ride through the forests and get it done. This is very unlikely, but according to expert prognositcator and Harpoon Owner, Ken DeAngelo, the Jaguars will be meeting the Vikings in the SuperBowl, so we shall see. But they still will need Leonard Fournette to roll an ankle and Marcedes Lewis to have another 3 TD game like he had earlier this year. But the chances of all that happening is slim. And if that does happen, Ken will likely outscore him anyway. Frank’s chances aren’t looking so hot from my perspective! Him and Rob are currently projected to finish at the bottom.
8th Place, 48.9 Points (Kenny D)
Jags, Vikings SB he says? Well if that happens then his Leonard Fournette, Case Keenum, Vikings D, Keelan Cole and Allen Hurns picks will likely get him to the promise land. Losing Gurley hurt, so he will need this exact scenario to win this. Blake Bortles vs Case Keenum in the SB? The ratings may never be lower.
9th Place, 47.6 Points, Plunker (Joe Portman)
Joe usually has slow starts in the Harpoons, but then comes on like a bat out of Texas and finishes strong. With Tom Brady, a healthy Rex Burkhead, Latavius Murray, Ted Ginn and Kai Forbath this may be the case again this year. He will need a New England, Vikings SB. Another likely scenario. Joe has a a solid shot to finally take down his first title.
10th Place, 23.8 Points, ChaseManhattan (Chase)
It all comes down to Nick Foles. Foles will have to go nuts and revert back to his superb regular season from years back and lead Philly to the promise land. Then if he gets Pittsburgh in with his Antonio Brown, J.J. Schuster, picks, he will be looking really good. He also has Philly Kicker, Jake Elliott. But if Philly does lose to Atlanta, he has Devonta Freeman, so Chase has some outs here. He is pretty far back right now though, so I am not sure he can do enough to catch up. In this courts opinion Nick Foles sucks and Philly will be losing tomorrow, and Chase will finish somewhere in bottom 5.
All the best to everyone this weekend. Enjoy the games and stay tuned for a Championship week update.