Road To Glory- Breakdown & Week 1 Review


SCRUBFEST 2011; The League, The Rules, The Players :Commissioner Kwiz

            There are two primary factors that go into constructing a solid fantasy league. These two factors are sound, sensible rules, and solid, competitive & knowledgeable, active participants.  I will now attempt to familiarize the readers here at with SCRUBFEST (SF 2011) as a League by its rules, participants, and then detail the results of our first week of play.

SF 2011 was constructed as a 16 team Head-to-Head league, with 4 divisions, and 4 teams contained within each of the divisions.  Each team has a maximum roster space of 16 players which facilitates for 1 QB, 3 WRs, 2 RBs, 1 TE, 1 Flex Play (W/R/T), 1 K, 1 Def, and 6 Bench Positions.  Negative & fractional scoring are both enabled and the scoring is constructed as follows:  OFFENSE: Completions= .5, Passing Yards= 25 yards per point; Bonuses of 5 points at 300, 400, & 500 yards, Passing TD= 7, Interception= -2, Sack= -1, Rushing Yards= 10 yards per point; Bonuses of 5 points at 100,150, & 200 yards, Rushing TD= 10, Receptions= .5, Reception Yards= 20 yards per point; Bonuses of 5 points at 100, 150, & 200 yards, Reception TD= 10, Return TD= 10, 2-Point Conversions= 2, Fumbles= -1, Fumbles Lost= -3, Offensive Fumble Return TD= 10, Pick Sixes Thrown= -4, 40 + Yard Completions= 2, 40+ Yard Passing TD= 2, 40+ Yard Rushing Attempt= 2, 40+ Yard Rushing TD= 2, 40+ Yard Receptions= +2, 40+ Yard Reception TD= 2.  Kickers: Field Goals 0-39 Yards= 3 Field Goals 40-49 Yards= 4, Field Goals 50+ Yards= 6, Field Goals Missed 0-19 Yards= -3, Field Goals Missed 20-29 Yards= -2, Field Goals Missed 30-39 Yards= -1, Point After Attempt Made= 1, Point After Attempt Missed= -3. Defense/Special Teams: Sack= 2, Interception= 3, Fumble Recovery= 3, TD= 10, Safety= 3, Blocked Kick= 2, Kickoff & Punt Return TD= 10, Points Allowed 0 points= 20, Points Allowed 1-6= 15, Points Allowed 7-13= 10, Points Allowed 14-20= 5, Points Allowed 21-27= 0, Points Allowed 28-34= -5, Points Allowed 35+= -10, 4th Down Stops= 2.

This years cast of competition, includes some of the best fantasy players I either know personally, or have had the privilege of personally playing with and against.  I’ll now introduce the teams and owners according to Division, then proceed to give you a run down on our week 1 results:



0-1 LARRY’S BUCKET STAND Owner: Steven -Your VERY OWN Fantasy Guru to the Stars. *SF Rookie Season.

1-0 The ANGRY PIRATES Owner: Kwiz -League Commissioner, Seasoned Fantasy Vet, & *Founder of SF.

0-1 N.Y.A.B.C. Owner: P -Long time friend, Seasoned Fantasy Vet and Vet of SF.

1-0 ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE Owner: CORY -Of the Infamous Stony Hill Crew *SF Rookie Season.


1-0 CRUSHERS Owner: Segun – Cousin, Sporting Enthusiast, and developing Fantasy Fanatic *SF Sophomore.

1-0 TIEMPO DE GUERRA Owner: Eric -Long time friend, Seasoned Fantasy Vet *Originating Class of SF.

0-1 TROOPS Owner: Daniel -3rd year Vet of SF. Reigning League Champ.

0-1 SILVER SNAKES Owner: Brandon -Of the infamous Stony Hill Crew *SF Rookie Season


1-0 The PISSPOORSPORTS Owner: Kenetic Koresh -Brother, Seasoned Fantasy Vet. *Originating Class of SF.

1-0 Dem Georgia Boys Owner: Buddah -Long time friend, Seasoned Vet & Commish. *Originating Class of SF.

0-1 STEEL CURTAIN Owner: Broc808 -Seasoned Fantasy Vet & Vet of SF.

0-1 GET OUT THE WAY Owner: One-Take -Long time friend, Self Proclaimed Fantasy Vet. *SF Rookie Season


1-0 ASOMUGHA TO MOUTH Owner: Kyle -Of the infamous Stony Hill Crew *SF Rookie Season

1-0 PHILLY BAD BOYZ Owner: Rich -Long time friend, Self Proclaimed Fantasy Vet. *SF Rookie Season

0-1 The MASHERS Owner: Jesse -Seasoned Fantasy Vet & Vet of SF.

0-1 PITT CREW CRUSHERS Owner: Epitome -Long time friend, Seasoned Fantasy Vet & Vet of SF.



Last week in Fantasy, my ANGRY PIRATES RAIDED the streets of NY in A.nother C.remation earning my team the seasons FIRST OFFICIAL TOYOTA BIGGEST BLOWOUT honors.  *Final Score: 176 to 93 (OOOOWWWW!!!)

– Meanwhile, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE on LARRY’S Kick the Bucket Stand! *Final Score: 134 to 78



– Crushers stomped the returning SCRUBFEST CHAMPIONS: TROOPS this week like a can of soda and had them looking more like a bunch of Toy Soldiers.  *Final Score: 189 to 162.

– Meanwhile, TIEMPO DE GUERRA handled their yard work and came fully equipped with the shovel to chop the head off of the YELLOW SNAKES in his coffee bean field of dreams.  * Final Score: 185 to 159



– The PissPoorSports pulled the infamous R. Kelly move and URINATED all over a team that REALLY should have GOT OUT THE WAY!  *Final Score: 177 to 147

– Meanwhile, DEM GEORGIA BOYS stared right through a glass window during a peep show this week and fully exposed a team by STEALING their SATIN DRAPES. *Final Score: 166 to 152



– This week, MASH UNIT came down with a serious case of asthma and was last seen receiving a heavy dose of ASOMUGHA TO MOUTH RESUSITATION.  *Final Score: 153 to 112

– Meanwhile, PHILLY BAD BOYZ broke em off something proper and left another CRUSHED CREW officially stuck in the PITTS of obscurity down in South Boogerberg.  *Final Score: 113 to 98

Final Thoughts

                        Week 1 of SCRUBFEST went every bit as well as expected, which isn’t saying much for the guys in SF 2011 who THOUGHT they were doing something special, only to find that they really wasn’t doing a damned thing! Oh well, there’s always next week… which SOUNDS good, until you realize its suddenly week 12 and you’ve been pretty much repeating that same ole tired, LOSER cliche’ every week like a scratched up, broken record. So to the managers of SF, do yourself a favor and save yourself the regret… Before you find yourself TOMORROW scratching your head trying to figure out where the hell your season went awry, quit scratching your ass TODAY and do something about that terrible wreck of a so-called team you’ve assembled! And to you readers here at, stay tuned next week for another episode of THE ROAD TO GLORY, where I’ll be sure to break down the results of week 2 and give you some more inside the lines commentary LIVE & DIRECT from SF 2011.

~Commissioner Kwiz

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